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I am The Pixie Shtick.

momochanners:

fuckyeahvarric:

impressioniste:

DISCLAIMER:

These are some easter-egg type sound files that were buried in the Mark of the Assassin source audio archive. It sounds like a fake movie promo, advertising MotA, but putting the focus on Varric. The person narrating is Nick Boulton (M!Hawke), except for the last line, which is a line of Varric’s that I added in.

I sifted manually through almost 6,000 audio clips to dig out these 21 pieces, and there’s absolutely no way for me to know what order they’re supposed to go in, or if they even go together properly at all. So, this is probably not the correct order, but I did the best I could.

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TRANSCRIPTION: (each line was a separate clip)

THIS FALL

IN A WORLD

WHERE MEN IN SKIRTS

OPPRESS MEN IN DRESSES

ONE DWARF WILL HAVE THE PLAN

ONE DWARF WILL STAND FOR FREEDOM

ONE BEARDLESS DWARF WILL TEACH THEM ALL HOW IT’S DONE

ONLY ONE DWARF

CAN SAVE THE CHAMPION

CLEAN-SHAVEN

FULLY-COCKED

THIS FALL, VARRIC TETHRAS IS

HARD IN HIGHTOWN 2: SIEGE HARDER

SHARPEN YOUR BLADE THIS FALL

VARRIC TETHRAS IS — GOING ROGUE

THIS OCTOBER

EVILDOERS, MARK YOUR CALENDARS

VARRIC TETHRAS IN

MARK OF THE ASSASSIN

TIME TO MEET YOUR MAKER

TIME TO MEET YOUR MAKER

Must reblog this every time it shows up on my dash. The power of awesome compels me.

OH MY GOD

I can’t breathe