I’m going to take a minute here and complain about an issue I’ve been having. A babysitting issue. I swear I have the worst luck with babysitters. My first sitter got married and moved away. The next one also moved away. The next one keeps throwing out her back and can barely walk, and my last resort is usually busy with her own kids and school. I’m kinda getting desperate. I ain’t got grandmommies and aunties around, so you can forget that. And everyone else I know works full time or is too irresponsible to handle babies. Because you know it actually takes work to watch kids, (gasp in shock.) Its not like they’re bad kids, I usually get great responses from their sitters, like oh they were so good, so I’m guessing that’s not it. I’m so at a loss, I really don’t know where else to go.

And honey, I need a break.

Someone please tell me where this comes from, because this is my life!

More about people who don’t like kids: My sister recently told me a story about a man she knew who decided he never wanted to have kids, the reason being he was a Star Wars fan, and having kids would distract him from his Star Wars obsession. What!

Not that I’m saying this man should have kids, in fact I think he shouldn’t. I just worry about a society where kids aren’t valued. I mean, I’m involved in a lot of fandoms, but I could never imagine that being more important to me than my family. As human beings, the things we should value most are other human beings.

Lately I’ve been tempted to yell and swear at people who don’t like my kids. We get dirty looks whenever we go out in public. There are people who think they’re cute too, but today I speak of people who hate kids. Kids are energetic, and so they can be annoying sometimes, but they’re also really sweet and innocent. (at least mine are.) Remember, they are people in training.

To all of you who hate kids, you know who you are, just remember one day you will be old and nasty and ugly and no one will like you. Meanwhile, my sons will be young and handsome and smart and everyone will want to have them around.

Arrrgh! Never have children. Ever ever ever. You may think they’re cute and adorable and thats true, but its so not worth it. I can never find a babysitter. Ever! They don’t exist. That means I can’t go to the dentist, I can’t go to the hospital after I cut off my leg, and I definitely can’t go to the theater to see the movies I want to see. Instead, I’m stuck at home watching nick jr cartoons over and over and over and over. Just kill me now.

So my kids dump my shampoo all over the bathroom floor. Arithmetic is practically swimming in it, its covering his whole body. I throw them in the tub. I tell my husband, I don’t know which I care about more, my children or my shampoo. And The Shtick says, I’m glad our kids rate that high.